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Transcript

“Being who you
are is one of the
hardest things you
can take on.”
An interview with Angie Aragon
+ So You Wanna... Be a Bartender
Women Around the World: Marwa Rakha, Egypt
Fashion Shoot: Daily Style
Orginal Art and more!
ISSUE ONE, FALL 2013
Table of Contents
Table of Contents
table
18
of
Contents
26
38
71
54
44
40 Letter From the Editor
5 How You Can Help • Credits
6 Fashion & Beauty
8 Relationship Advice
10 Sex Advice with Maxxters
13 Relationship Profile
Mindy & Amy
18 Fashion Shoot
Daily Style
pg
2
Hussy | FALL/2013
26 Cover Story
Interview with Angie Aragon
36 Science Corner
Ocean Whatification?
38 So You Wanna...
Be a Bartender
44 Women Around the World
Marwa Rahka, Egypt
Tough Stuff
Sexual Harassment
Pursuit of Health & Happiness Overcoming Anorexia
Recipes
Bread & Breakfast
Original Art
Fine Art
Poetry
Photography
Prose 71 Hussy Recommends
47
50
52
54
FALL/2013 |
Hussy
pg
3
Letter from the Editor
letter
from the
you
How You Can Help • Credits
editor
For years I’ve complained about the dearth of quality
magazines for women. If you judged by supermarket
offerings, you’d assume women care only about beauty
products, celebrities, fashion, and pleasing their men. I
don’t dismiss any of those things in the proper context,
nor do I dismiss people who care about them. I do dismiss the idea that they are the sum and total of what all
women care about. I dismiss the idea that there isn’t a
market for a wider offering. I dismiss that these magazines are representative of the diversity of women, and
I dismiss the image they sell of what the ideal woman
should look like and what she should do.
I finally figured I’d better be the change I want
in the world and create the women’s magazine I’d like
to read: a magazine that welcomes the full range of
women and their experiences, desires, and interests.
A magazine that embraces the fact that every woman’s
path will be as unique as she is, and that she should
have the options, choices, and information to choose
what will be best for her.
Why ‘hussy’? It’s an old-fashioned word for a brazen, impudent, saucy, immoral (‘sexually
immoral’, it’s implied), or bold woman. I’ve rarely seen the word in use today, but it evokes the idea
of a rebellious woman. A spirited, intrepid woman. One who doesn’t hold her tongue when she has
something to say. One who is not afraid to challenge outdated ideas that need to be challenged. A
woman more concerned with living her life than living up to an imposed ideal of what is feminine or
ladylike or proper. A woman who is not afraid of her own agency, sexual or otherwise.
I’ve been lucky to know many incredible, inspiring women in many different spheres: artistic,
political, corporate, entrepreneurial, athletic, intellectual, and personal. I see the amazing possibilities that life has to offer and that we offer each other. This magazine will reflect that. This magazine
will reflect us, in all our brilliant, beautiful, wonderful diversity. All the shapes, sizes, personalities,
ethnicities, backgrounds, religions, sexual orientations, and gender expressions that make up who
we are. All the choices we make and all the paths we take, from raising children to running companies to jumping out of airplanes. We embrace it all.
So live life. Own who you are, now, today. No more waiting to lose those last ten pounds, no
more waiting for that perfect partner to complete you, no more trying to fit a mold you don’t want
to fit, no more waiting to live until everything has aligned. You are a person with value, today. You
are a person with possibility, today. Take a risk. Make a change. Build the life you want.
Dare to be happy. You deserve it.
h ow
help
So far Hussy has been a 100% volunteer project.
We’ve been lucky enough to attract talented writers, designers, artists, and editors, but we can
always use more help. If you feel you have experience or talent in an area that might be useful
and you are interested in joining us, please email
[email protected] In addition, we have an
open-door submission policy, and welcome submissions or pitches for possible future articles,
original art, photoshoots, etc.
Another invaluable thing you can do is join
the conversation and help spread the word. Like
us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter, share our
website, give people this magazine! Send us your
feedback! If you have questions for our writers,
share them with us and we’ll pass them along.
Finally, if you are in a position to give, we
would greatly appreciate donations of any amount.
We have released this first issue for free, hoping to
give everyone a chance to see what we’re about.
If you like Hussy and what we’re trying to accomplish, please consider supporting us. All costs of
producing the magazine are currently being paid
by those creating it, and every dollar we receive
will go toward allowing us to continue this project.
We hope to continue with a second issue, and a
third, and more—and your donations will enable
us to do just that. You can donate on our website:
hussymag.com
pg
4
Hussy | FALL/2013
can
hussy
staff
Mara Schmid, Editor in Chief
Kiah Shapiro, Creative Director
Lauren McGregor, Chief Copy Editor
Joel Hindman, Photography and Design
Nicole Cherry, Layout Editor
Athalia Rahim, Layout Editor
Anabel Tavera, Web Design
Krystal Vivian, Social Media
FALL/2013 |
Hussy
pg
5
Fashion & Beauty
Fashion & Beauty
The key to fashion, for me, is confidence and comfort. If
I don’t feel confident and comfortable, I don’t wear it. If I
know I’m going to be standing all night and my feet are
going to kill in those stilettos, back into the closet they go.
Nothing is less sexy than a woman who can barely walk in
her shoes. Save them for a dinner date or another occasion
where you only have to walk a little and then strut!
Fashion
&Beauty
by bethany Weber
Bethany Weber is your average musicianturned-accountant, apocalypse-ready, single girl
in LA. She likes outdoor entertainment, riding her
bike, and smiling.
pgpg66
Hussy | FALL/2013
If I put on an outfit and it’s hard to sit down because my
skirt is too short, or my bra strap shows if I move too much,
back into the closet it goes. If you feel like you can’t move in
your clothes, you’re not going to look, or, more importantly,
feel, confident. You will ALWAYS look better in the outfit
that fits and feels right.
I get a lot of compliments on my ability to “work” outfits and
it really all comes down to making sure I’m comfortable and
feel good in my clothes.
RuLe Number One:
Love Thyself
The ultimate key to beauty is overall health. Get enough
sleep, get regular exercise, and eat right. Love your body
and it will love you back. Do things to make yourself happy.
The prettiest women are ones who are healthy and happy.
No lipstick shade or eyeliner tip can ever compete with just
simply taking care of and loving yourself.
FALL/2013 |
Hussy
pg
7
RELATIONSHIP ADVICE
by Alexi kim
The expectations each person brings into a relationship can make or break it. The worst is
when you are unclear in your own mind what your expectations are—you know you have
them, but you can’t put your finger on the specifics. You shrug and say, “I’ll recognize it
when I see it.”
This kind of thinking is setting yourself up for failure, for confusion, and for the bad kind of
compromise. How can you expect to communicate your expectations to a partner if you
can’t communicate them clearly to yourself? How can you expect to recognize when a
relationship is not meeting your expectations if you don’t know what they are? In addition,
having bad expectations of a partner or a relationship will create a toxic environment of
its own. Requiring your partner to meet unstated, unreasonable, or impossible demands
isn’t going to lead anywhere positive.
Examples of
BAD EXPECTATIONS include:
MY PARTNER SHOULD COMPLETE ME. The right partner will complement you, not
complete you. You are a complete person in and of yourself. Expecting another person
to fix you, solve your problems, or put you or your life in order for you is putting a heavy,
unfair burden on them, and generally will doom the relationship.
IF MY PARTNER IS THE RIGHT ONE FOR ME, HE OR SHE WILL KNOW WHAT
I WANT AND NEED. No one, not even the most perfect match for you who ever lived,
will be able to read your mind or anticipate your needs 100% of the time. Humans have
developed ways to communicate for a reason—use them! Don’t put the task of guessing
what you want and need on your partner. Do not be afraid to be straightforward! Women
are often conditioned to do anything but simply ask for what we want. Don’t buy into that.
Speak up!
OUR RELATIONSHIP NEEDS TO BE A SPECIFIC WAY BECAUSE THAT’S HOW
RELATIONSHIPS ARE DONE. You know what? It’s your relationship. You and your partner
can do your relationship in whatever way works for you! Use your imagination. Color
outside the box. Guy/girl but the girl makes more money? Certainly she can be the one
to pay! Into more than one person? Why not date them both, openly and honestly? See
a cute person across the bar? Make the first move. The only rules you and your partner
need to follow are the ones that you both want and agree on.
pg
8
Hussy | FALL/2013
Great Expectations
While bad expectations can destroy a good relationship, good expectations help you
separate the right relationship for you from one that’s wrong for you.
.
GOOD EXPECTATIONS include:
MY PARTNER WILL RESPECT ME, AND THAT RESPECT WILL BE EVIDENT IN THE
WAY MY PARTNER TREATS ME. John Gottman is a professor of psychology who has
studied the dynamics of relationships for many years. Of various signs of a bad or doomed
relationship, Gottman considers contempt to be the worst. A lack of two-way respect
between partners is a death knell for the relationship—and it should be! Respecting your
partner—as a person, as your equal, as a partner in the most basic sense of the word—is
vital, and just as vital is that your partner treat you with that same respect.
MY PARTNER WILL NEVER LAY A HAND ON ME IN ANGER OR DELIBERATELY
USE WORDS OR ACTIONS TO HURT ME, AND VICE VERSA. When in a relationship,
it can become difficult to recognize a toxic environment for what it is. You may have heard
the cliché about the frog and the hot water. The story goes that if you put a frog in boiling
water, it will jump out. But if you increase the heat gradually, the frog will stay in, and die.
The point is that sometimes when a relationship gradually becomes a bad one, hurtful
actions, words, and behaviors that would have been deal-breakers in the beginning are
excused away because it is hard to think of turning your back on the time and energy
you’ve put into the relationship, even when ending it is the best thing for you to do.
Now, it’s true sometimes people speak in anger or inadvertently hurt each other. This is
normal, and in a long-term relationship, pretty much inevitable now and again (emphasis
on the ‘now and again’). By ‘deliberately’, I mean “Is the person you love consciously
doing things that hurt you in order to hurt you?” If so, that is a very bad sign. Please don’t
ignore it.
MY PARTNER AND I ADD TO EACH OTHER’S QUALITY OF LIFE. This is perhaps the
best expectation, and certainly one of the simplest. Is your life better with this person? A
healthy relationship adds to each person’s overall happiness.
So the next time you’re unhappy with your dating record or current relationship situation,
take a moment to think about what your expectations are. Are they good? Are they
realistic? Or are they bad and unfair to you or to your partners?
FALL/2013 |
Hussy
pg
9
Sex Advice
SEXADVICE
byMaxxters
Is squirting real?
Plus masturbation guilt
and deep throating
Maxxters,
I have a pretty strong gag reflex, but my boyfriend likes
me to deep throat him when I perform oral sex. Is there
anything we can do?
Positions?! Numbing cream!? Help!!
-J.L.
Hi J.L.,
Many individuals find that their gag reflex really gets
in the way during oral sex. Yup, certain positions
can definitely help. You need to take the angle of
the erection and curve of the penis into account.
Basically, try to get it so the penis is angling into
your mouth and down the throat. For example, if
your partner’s penis doesn’t have a large upwards
curve, the best way to go tends to be with you lying
on your back, with your head hanging over the edge
of the bed and your partner standing in front of your
mouth. Many people find that the penis glides down
their throat more easily this way. However, this can
be a really claustrophobic position to be in, so make
sure you’re relaxed and in control (use your hands
against his thighs to guide the movement). If your
partner’s penis curves upwards quite a bit, then a
position where your partner is lying down and you’re
on top, facing their feet (basically the 69 position
with you on top), might work better. With regards to
numbing cream, in no way do I recommend using it.
That can cause a lot of damage to your throat. You
need to be able to know if something is hurting.
Many people find that they’re actually able to
train themselves to desensitize their gag reflex over
time. You just have to be really patient with the
process and not rush it. One way to do this is to just
take your partner in as far as you can and stop right
at the edge of where your gag reflex would kick in.
pg
10
Hussy | FALL/2013
The more you practice, the deeper you’ll find you’re
eventually able to go. Some people find it really
helps if they’re being stimulated at the same time
and on the verge of orgasm themselves. You also
have to find a way to relax and not anticipate the
‘gag’. Tensing up tends to increase the likelihood
of gagging. Play around with the speed of the
movement too. You might find that going a lot
slower and just holding his penis in your throat helps
you to relax and learn how to breathe through it.
And while you may feel silly doing it, many people
find it really helpful to hum while deep throating! It’s
actually not possible to hum and gag at the same
time, so focussing on the humming can prevent your
gag reflex from kicking in. Doctors use this trick on
patients with bad gag reflexes when trying to swab
their throats. You might want to warn your partner
about it before you try it though! Some individuals
prefer to try to swallow as they bring the penis
deeper inside their mouths, as they find that helps
to open the throat up a bit more. Play around with
these different techniques/ideas, as well as your
positioning, and be really patient with the process.
In the meantime, experiment with other general
techniques for giving great head. You may find
something your partner enjoys even more than
deep throating!
Sex Advice
Is squirting real? If so, how do you do it?
-N.K.
Hi N.K.,
Yup! Squirting is most certainly real! We have
glands called the Skene’s glands, which are
commonly referred to as the female prostate.
They’re found on the front wall of the vagina and
they release the fluid when we squirt.
In terms of how you can get yourself to squirt,
that differs from person to person. But the majority
of us require intense g-spot stimulation in order
to get there. There’s a lot of controversy over
what exactly the g-spot is and even if it actually
exists (let alone exists in all women). For the sake
of this response, let’s go with the belief that the
g-spot is an area found on the front wall of the
vagina (towards the bellybutton) that’s around
one to three inches up from the vaginal opening
(again, it differs from person to person). While the
rest of the vaginal walls tend to feel smooth, the
g-spot area is bumpy with ridges; similar to the
shape of a walnut. When we become aroused,
that spot tends to swell in size and becomes a lot
easier to find (and more sensitive to stimulation).
Once you’re turned on, have warmed yourself up
and have been experiencing sexual pleasure for
a bit of time, then try using your own hands, a
partner’s hands, or a toy to stimulate the g-spot.
If doing solo-play, a toy that’s designed for g-spot
“Really focus
on what gives you
the most pleasure
possible. You’ll always
have a great time
and be lef t feeling
satisfied.”
stimulation is usually the easiest way to go.
If using hands, the standard method is inserting
two fingers (ring and middle fingers tend to work
best) into the vagina and using a firm “come hither”
motion, where you pull up against the g-spot and
then down towards the anus. If your partner’s
doing it, get them to use their shoulder and chest
muscles instead of their forearms or they’ll burn
out really fast. They may also get more leverage
by kneeling next to you instead of between your
legs. If using a toy, go for a curved one with some
good weight to back it up. You need that leverage
to get enough pressure against the g-spot. Most
people require rapid and intense manipulation of
their g-spot in order to squirt. Some find that they
need clitoral stimulation at the same time (perhaps
more easily done with a vibrator). If you’re doing
it right, most people hear a squishing/sucking
sound as the stimulation continues. At this point
it’s important to try to relax. However, some find
that pushing helps.
There are a few things that are important to
note here. First off, many people find that as
the stimulation gets more intense, they start to
feel like they need to pee. This is because the
urethral sponge (right under the g-spot) swells
with fluid when it’s stimulated. As it swells up
in size, it puts pressure on the urethra, which
automatically sends a signal to the brain that you
need to pee. This is actually a sign that you’re
about to ejaculate, not pee. Try to relax as much
as possible and let it come. Secondly, squirting
is a completely separate event from orgasm.
While many individuals experience orgasm at the
same time that they squirt, some don’t. While
they experience pleasure from the stimulation,
many can’t even feel it when they squirt. So try
not to be disappointed if this is how your body
works. With time, most people are able to train
themselves to squirt and orgasm simultaneously.
And lastly, there’s the question of whether or
not every female-bodied individual is actually
capable of squirting. I do not believe that they
are. So try not to get so hung up on trying to
get yourself to squirt. Instead, experiment with
different types of stimulation and sexual acts and
really focus on what gives you the most pleasure
possible. Then you’ll always have a great time
and be left feeling satisfied.
FALL/2013 |
Hussy
pg
11
Sex Advice
Dear Maxxters,
I am a female in my mid twenties who was raised in
a strict religious community. I remember when I was
very young, around 4 or 5 years old, my mother got
very angry with me when she caught me masturbating
(of course at the time I had no idea what I was doing,
I just knew it felt good). I left the community several
years ago, and I have a more open and accepting view
of sex. I still have a problem with masturbating. I
have a good sex life with my boyfriend, and I like to
masturbate with him, but I can’t get myself to come
when masturbating by myself. How can I learn to
make myself come?
-Repressed as a child
Hi R.C.,
I first just want to say that I’m really sorry that
you were made to feel ashamed of experiencing
pleasure at such a young age. You might be
interested to know that it is considered to be
normal sexual development for toddlers of that age
to be masturbating. And you’re right—they don’t
actually know what it is that they’re doing. They
just know that it feels really good! Unfortunately,
many parents don’t know that this is a healthy part
of growing up and they tell their children to stop
the behavior.
So back to your question: what thoughts are
going on in your head while you’re masturbating?
Do you still have some residual shame/guilt
around the act or are you able to fully relax into
it and stay aroused? Also, make sure that you’re
not fixating on orgasm. The more you think about
whether or not you’ll come, worry about how
long it’s going to take, and just gun it to orgasm,
the less likely it is to happen. While easier said
than done at times, it’s about allowing yourself to
Relationship Profile
get lost in the pleasure. So focus more on what
actually feels good. Play around with different
types of stimulation (speed of your movements,
what parts of the vulva/vagina you’re playing
with, etc.), as well as positions. You can do it on
your back or front (approximately 1 out of 10
women need to masturbate on their stomach to
reach orgasm). You can add pillows under your
hips to make the angle easier for your hands,
you can keep your knees bent or straighten them
out... those minor changes can sometimes make
a big difference.
What are you doing to turn yourself on when
you masturbate? It’s essential that you’re actually
aroused and in the mood to experience sexual
pleasure. Whether that means you’re fantasizing
about something on your own, reading erotica,
looking at erotic images, or watching porn,
make sure you’re feeling turned on the entire
time. Lastly, have you tried using toys? Many
individuals find that using them (especially
vibrators) can really help to increase their sexual
pleasure (both alone and with a partner). They
can also help to train you to reach orgasm easier
and experience more intense orgasms. It may be
important to note here that there are so many
different types/intensities of orgasm. So really
pay attention to what your body is experiencing
while you’re pleasuring yourself. Many women
don’t realize they’re actually reaching orgasm
(with or without a partner), simply because most
of us don’t experience those earth-shattering
types of orgasms that are constantly portrayed in
the media.
Have a sex question? Email Maxxters at
[email protected]
Maxxters is a sexuality education specialist with a Master’s
in human sexuality. She has worked with individuals
regarding all aspects of sex and sexuality as well as issues
with body image and health. She currently works mainly
with high school students and their parents, helping to
educate them on all aspects around human sexuality,
including communication about it between parents and
children.
pg
12
Hussy | FALL/2013
relationship
profile
Mindy & Amy
No few words can adequately capture a person; Mindy: I am very old-fashioned in my view of
but give us a snapshot of yourself, an idea of relationships and I’m the kind of person who
who you are, in a few sentences.
wants to find that one person early on and
spend the rest of my life with her. A relationMindy: I am a lover of life and learning. I’m a ship with a significant other doesn’t define me
writer, musician, Coast Guard Auxiliarist, scuba and I’d like to think that I’d be fine without one,
diver, and animal lover. I’m practical, logical, but I’ve been with Amy since I was 19 years old
and immensely loyal, but I also thrive on imagi- and I can’t imagine my life without her in it. This
nation and whimsy and I outright refuse to ever hasn’t changed over time because I’ve always
grow up.
wanted to be with one person and have her be
my partner in life.
Amy: Hm. I’m a lot of things so I’m not sure
where to start. I’m a person who likes hats (pref- Amy: I am a one-to-one-person-relationshiperably silly or dapper ones). I own my own busi- per. My wife is my very best friend in the whole
ness. I think that community service is a corner- universe and, if anything, that sense has only
stone of good citizenship. I believe that fairness grown over time. My relationship with her is priand equality are intensely important. My wife mary in my life.
and I have three cats that we adore. That will at
least get us started.
When did you realize you were attracted to
women, and how has that affected your life?
What type of relationship person are you?
Mindy: I started figuring it out when I was in
FALL/2013 |
Hussy
pg
13
Relationship Profile
Relationship Profile
junior high and more so when I was in high
school. However, I can look back to many little moments and memories and go, “Ohhhh. I
should have known then.” I accepted the fact
that I was gay pretty easily on a personal level.
I did worry about my family’s reaction as well as
the bigotry of the public in general, but I didn’t
struggle with it internally. I knew who I was and
that was that.
Amy: It started to occur to me vaguely around
my senior year in high school, and it became less
and less vague as I journeyed through college.
Tell me the story of how you ended up together.
Mindy: Let’s go with the short version. We ended
up talking during one of the LBGSA Wednesday
coffee house nights, and she was pretty shy so
I thought she didn’t like me. We talked about
both being band musicians, but that’s about it.
I was just trying to be friendly at this point because I wanted her to feel welcome in the group.
The next week we met up again at another cof-
“My wife is my very
best friend in the
whole universe.”
meeting for a big gay group that I don’t think
exists any more at UT. I saw her again at another
more informal coffee-meetup thing through that
same group, and while she tried to engage me
in conversation, I was awkward and unresponsive because I was fighting between feeling attracted to her vs. my loyalty to my girlfriend at
the time. Eventually we got to know each other
when I spent all night in her dorm room talking
about pretty much everything—our backgrounds, musical tastes, hobbies, etc. It was like
distilling a month or two of learning about a new
friend into a single night. It was very emotionally intense, but not at all physical. It didn’t take
long before my attraction to her could not be
ignored and I broke up with my girlfriend. I told
her that there was this girl that I just couldn’t
get out of my brain and it wasn’t fair to me to
not pursue this avenue of interest, but it wasn’t
fair to the girlfriend for me to have feelings for
someone else and not be honest about it. It was
about as amiable as these things can possibly
be, but it was still very difficult. Within like, maybe 30 seconds (ok, maybe a couple days) I was
in Mindy’s dorm room wishing I could kiss her.
So I did. Then we got married. Ta da!
What was a moment that made you realize or
reinforced how you felt about her?
Mindy: This was seven years into our relationship, but the night that she proposed to me at
the Hotel Del Coronado in San Diego was just a
wonderful night. I realized how much I loved her
fee shop with the group and she was much brav- and wanted to be with her forever.
er. She said that she wanted to sit “next to the
cute girl” so, naturally, I thought that she was Amy: We had kind of talked about getting martalking about our fabulous friend Tim because ried for a long time, and at some point I really
she couldn’t be talking about me ... could she?
really really thought about it and the question
Well, she did mean me and we ended up talking wasn’t so much “do I want to be married to
all night. As everyone else went home I invited her?” as it was “what would life be like without
her over to my dorm room to listen to music beher?” and the answer was “it would be void of
cause we’re both band nerds and enjoy that sort all happiness”.
of thing. She ended up staying the entire night
(just listening to music and talking!) and since
When did you first say I love you?
then we’ve been inseparable.
Mindy: The summer after we met we were
Amy: My first sight of Mindy was at a big gay talking on the phone at our respective homes
pg
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Hussy | FALL/2013
FALL/2013 |
Hussy
pg
15
Relationship Profile
you don’t hit that big divider thing and waste
a thousand dollars fixing the dent in Mindy’s
Amy: Within a month of getting together. It car.” But really I would tell myself to be more
confident.
kind of popped out unexpectedly, actually.
and she said it first. I said it back, of course.
What has been your biggest challenge in this Tell us about an adventure you’ve shared torelationship?
gether.
Relationship Profile
all the time, and sometimes it’s magical too. Ei- college band days and everyone knows us as
ther way, there is no one on the planet that I’d a couple. We’re pretty much a single entity at
rather share those adventures with than her.
this point. There are many couples that are still
together from band, but there are also some
that didn’t make it. We’re a constant and I don’t
How would you define love?
think anyone would ever expect us to not be toMindy: I guess I should stay away from the bi- gether. I feel that our relationship has been a
ological and chemical definition so I’ll say that positive example of what a committed relationlove is caring about someone as much as or ship can be—gay or straight.
more than yourself.
Amy: Too many stories to choose from. I’ll leave
Amy: I would look it up in the dictionary and this answer to her—she’s probably given somefind the following: “An intense feeling of deep thing excellent.
affection.” Which sounds like a pretty good
start. There are a lot of different shades of love Is there anything else would you like to share?
though, and different relationships call for dif- Any advice? A story or message?
ferent colors. The more love you have and give,
the more color you end up with, so life gets more Mindy: My advice is to always stay loyal and honand more rich and beautiful as you go along.
est, think ahead, and never let someone doubt
your love for them.
Share a story or moment from your relationship
that you feel encapsulates who you two are and Amy: Always show respect for one another but
your relationship with each other.
also learn how to have a good fight with each
other. The #1 rule for fighting is that love is never
Mindy: This isn’t a specific moment, but every a weapon to be used against someone in order
year we travel back to Austin for the annual Uni- to manipulate them to do or be what you want.
versity of Texas alumni game where we march If you ever say, “If you don’t do what I want then
with the Longhorn Alumni Band (the largest in I won’t love you any more,” then you have failed
the world!). We have been together since our in this.
Mindy: Coming to terms with our differences Mindy: My life is nicely crammed with adven(though few).
tures, but one of our biggest was traveling to
Scotland with our bagpipe band. It was one
Amy: Getting her to do dishes. It’s a losing bat- of the top places that we both wanted to vistle.
it and we had the best time traveling around
the country, playing our pipes and drums, and
What is advice you would give to your younger experiencing all of the history. It was exciting,
self if you could (any age you like)?
tiring, magical, educational, and just downright
fun.
Mindy: I would tell myself to concentrate on
working towards the things that make me happy Amy: Hm … 15 years of adventures and you
only want one … I guess it depends on what
and really commit to succeeding in them.
you mean by adventure. If you mean traveling,
Amy: Sometimes I wish I could go back in time then that would be visiting Scotland, which was
and be my own guardian angel just so I could truly magical for us. If you mean getting lost
tell myself little things like, “before you turn, while you’re driving around and declaring that
you’re going to need to pull further forward so you’re just on an adventure, then that happens
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Fashion
Fashion
FASHION
shoot LAURA
DAILY
STYLE
photos by Jaclyn Newman Dorn
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I don’t really label my style because
I have so many different styles. I just
go from one to the other. I love to
accessorize. I think it can make or break
the look you’re going for.
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Fashion
Fashion
CANDACE & JACKIE
I suspect fashion, like beauty, is whatever you’d
like it to be. I tend to gravitate towards the
casually feminine—simple, effortlessly pretty things.
I love dressing casual and down to earth. I love
summertime because I get to wear all my favorite
summer dresses!
LIZ
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My style is kind of a vintage, classic, hipper-mom style. One day I was wearing
these pants, I think it was these boots. I was wearing a white scoop-neck shirt and a
cream cardigan. And I show up and my mom’s wearing the exact same thing. Now
I try not to wear black pants and white shirts on the off chance my mom will be
wearing the same thing. It’s true, I love cardigans! I don’t know, make it sound cool.
Make other people want to do it.
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Fashion
For me, fashion is of course a constant
battle with what I can afford, so I
frequent sales racks and resale shops.
I love girly, floral, flowy, tight, black,
sexy, and lots of ridiculous band t-shirts.
I suppose I fall under one of those
“eclectic” categories, but I never take
myself too seriously. And I never fail to
express myself with what I’m wearing.
LAUREN
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Fashion
AYIKO
I kinda dress like an adult skater, but
with little touches of hip-hop and
tomboy/gamin. I like vintage stuff and
try to update it. I love high-tops. I
collect sneakers. I’m always asking, can
I get away with sneakers with this?
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Fashion
Fashion
LYDIA
ANABEL
I love thrift shopping, not only for the price but
because I love that I can buy an item that people
may not have! Of course, most thrift stores are
owned by organizations that help people with jobs
or others who are in need of clothes or furniture.
Thrift shopping for me is a win-win!
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I would say my style is feminine comfort.
I love dresses and girlyness, but I
never want to feel as though what I’m
wearing is keeping me from doing what
I want to do. Fashion is about finding
clothes that make you feel like you.
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Cover Story
Cover Story
“being who you are is one
of the hardest things you
can take on.”
AN INTERVIEW WITH
ANGIE ARAGON
By Mara Schmid
Photos By Joel Hindman
Angie Aragon works in the sky. Any given day, you
might see her teaching a student as an AFF (Accelerated Freefall) skydiving instructor, donning
a helmet covered in camera gear to record skydives as a videographer, or giving a non-skydiver
a taste of the sky as one of the few female tandem
instructors in the business. As in many extreme
sports, men outnumber women in skydiving, and
when it comes to tandem instructors, the proportion of women to men is exponentially lower.
“The tandem came into play a bit after getting
my AFFI,” Angie says. “Eventually I started thinking, well maybe I can do tandems too. Then I’m
like, no, because almost no women do it. Then I
thought, well maybe I can. No, I can’t. Maybe I
can. It was a fight I had, confidence-wise. You see
the men doing it, and you think, well, it looks hard.
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And it is hard. And that’s why I was intimidated.”
It takes a lot to intimidate Angie Aragon. A
first-generation American, she grew up in the Orange County that doesn’t make it onto ritzy reality
shows. “My school was super ghetto,” she says.
“Girls generally got pregnant; the guys got kicked
out of school and the next thing you know they’re
in jail.” Determined, stubborn even, from a young
age, she made her own path with a remarkable
tenacity and clear-mindedness. “As first-generation American, growing up in the environment I
grew up in, statistically lives are going in one direction. But I thought, well, if I go to college, if I
get my bachelor’s degree, then the chances of my
siblings getting theirs has drastically increased,
statistically. And the chances of my children also
doing that, at minimum, has statistically increased.
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Cover Story
So I thought, if I make this move, and work hard
and do what I have to do to get my bachelor’s—
the first person in my family ever to do that—then
it changes the trend.”
When financial aid and a full-time job failed to
cover the costs of college, she walked into a recruiting office and joined the United States Army
Reserves. “I went in and said I want school paid
for, and I want the least amount of commitment
and the least amount of risk. I wasn’t gung ho, like
I want to go fight a war. That wasn’t my goal. I was
there to go to school.”
Joining the Army Reserves for three years allowed
her to finish her degree, and when she left college, the company she’d been working for since
high school, Grubb & Ellis, hired her as a commercial real estate agent. “I was originally hired to be
an assistant to their accounting revenue person. I
thought I was going to do something in accounting. Then I thought, maybe I can do business administration, something like that.” Her degree,
from Cal State Long Beach, is in business management. “I worked full-time and went to school
full-time. By the time I graduated I’d already been
working for them for seven years. They had a program called a runnership, where you work under
one of the senior agents for eighteen months and
then go off on your own. In that world I was one of
the only female Latinas in commercial real estate.
The only reason I got the runnership was that I
had been there so long and really showed them
what I was about.”
The world of commercial real estate at that time
was dazzling and exciting. “There was so much
business. People were handing you checks! It was
just so easy and everyone was making money and
having fun with it. Then the market went completely in the dump. So I was still working my deals
but it became super competitive, super cutthroat.
The next thing you know I’m competing with really good friends I’d developed relationships with
over the last years, and I was like, this isn’t really
fun anymore. I hated the feeling of having to go
after my friends’ business, but that was what you
had to do to make it go. And I said, I’ve kind of
done what I came here to do. I did the successful
businesswoman thing and I’m good with that. I
can maybe consider doing something else.”
The first something else that came to mind was
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Cover Story
What equipment is used for a tandem skydive?
Drogue: a mini-parachute that is released soon
after exiting the aircraft to stabilize a tandem in
freefall and slow their descent.
Harness and container system: the device
that the instructor wears that looks like a backpack. This holds the main and reserve parachutes,
along with the AAD.
Student harness: what the tandem student
wears to attach to the tandem instructor. Each
student is attached to his or her instructor at four
different points.
Main canopy: the parachute that the instructor deploys to allow the pair to land safely. With
tandems these canopies are generally 300 to
400 square feet. For comparison, sport canopies
used by a single skydiver are usually somewhere
between 87 and 210 square feet.
Reserve canopy: the parachute the instructor
deploys in the event the main canopy experiences a malfunction. Before deploying the reserve
parachute the instructor jettisons the main canopy to allow the reserve parachute to deploy
cleanly. The reserve can only be packed by a
Federal Aviation Administration certified rigger,
and it is inspected and repacked for safety multiple times a year.
AAD: the automatic activation device is an
electronic device that releases the reserve parachute automatically if the main canopy has not
opened by a safe altitude.
Altimeter: a device that indicates altitude either
visually or through audible tones.
Angie and Darren
skydiving. A couple years before, while backpacking solo through New Zealand, she stopped in
Queenstown to do her first skydive, a tandem. “I
booked it in town and the dropzone was somewhere else. There were two chicks in the van that
picked up a group of us to take us to the dropzone, and the interaction, the vibe, the energy,
whatever you want to call it, between those two—
their energy just got me. Something happened.
Mind you, in my life, and my reality, I was stressing
over deals. Then I come and I’m watching these
two chicks, and their energy is just something
that was unbelievable for me at the time. And I
thought, wow, that’s really nice. I want that. I want
to feel like that.”
On returning home from the trip, she went to her
closest dropzone, Skydive Elsinore, and signed up
for the AFF program to become a skydiver.
So by the time the market crashed, Angie’s passion had already begun to shift. “I thought, well
I’m going to try to fly video and see how that goes.
I met Darren, my husband, right when I was cutting away from my ‘real job.’ He said, ‘I’m going to
Thailand, you should go.’ And I completely went
off the face of the earth. I was able to breathe for
a while. I did my Divemaster for scuba, then came
back and got into the mix flying video.”
Over the next year, she worked at the dropzone as
a packer and videographer, saving the money to
get her AFFI rating. As she took on more and built
up her skills, she began thinking about tandems.
She dismissed the idea at first, but it kept coming
back.
“I talked to Jen Sharp, who’s a super awesome female role model in skydiving, and she was having
a tandem course. She’s five foot two, a hundred
ten pounds, this amazing woman. So at one point
I told her I was going to do it, and then I called
and cancelled because my husband said, ‘I don’t
think you should do it.’ He was afraid for me. Because he was already doing tandems and he knew
how hard it was. I had a point where I was like,
maybe I shouldn’t be doing this. And he said, ‘I
don’t really think you should.’ So that was a big
thing. And then I talked to a couple people and
Jen said, ‘Just come out.’ At that point I already
had my ticket, I’d put my deposit down, and she
said, ‘Just come.’ So I came. Mind you, at the time
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Cover Story
I had over 600 video jumps with tandems, so I
was completely aware of what I was getting myself into.”
A well-known skydiving maxim is that the only
person responsible for your skydive is you. But
tandem instructors have to take on more than
that—they take on some of the responsibility for
their student as well, by making sure their student
understands what to do during the skydive, managing and checking the equipment, adjusting or
counteracting the student in freefall should they
adopt an unfavorable body position, flying the
canopy, and dealing with any problems that occur.
Skydiving has advanced in the past few decades
to become a remarkably accessible sport given
that it involves human bodies, free from the constraints of any vehicle, falling toward the earth
at speeds of 120 miles per hour or more. The
breakthrough into becoming an activity almost
anyone can try, at least once, was brought about
by successful self-regulation of the sport, defined
training programs, an emphasis on safety, and
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advances in technology, including the three-ring
system, the tandem harness system, the ram-air
or rectangular canopy (which replaced the older
style of round parachutes), and automatic activation devices (see sidebar, page 28). Yet despite its
increased accessibility, it is a sport taken seriously
by its participants, and with good reason. Gravity,
in the end, will not be denied.
Angie looks at skydiving with the same dispassionate, analytical eye she applies to much of life. “I
look at the risk, how many professional skydivers
that are full-time skydivers actually die skydiving,
even though they’re doing it every day. That number is so small. And it could happen in anything,
it’s just not so front and center. You get a situation
with your neighbor whose daughter ran into a tree
on a late night coming home from school, or get
hit by a drunk driver... it happens. As long as I stay
conservative and do what I’m comfortable with,
and do it day in and day out, and don’t party too
hard the night before a big day of work, and keep
my head on and my game on, that’s all I can do.
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Cover Story
I’m going to go on living, doing what I like. I’m
not going to change it. I’ll just be careful.”
She completed the tandem course with Jen at
Skydive Kansas and came back to California with
a new sense of confidence. She began doing tandems in addition to her AFF and video jumps, and
found that being one of the few female instructors
brought both challenges and opportunities.
“I had, and still have, my own very distinct things
I need to focus on, which the men don’t have to
necessarily. For example, and this is so silly, but
we have this huge parachute. It’s got huge lines
and is very heavy. Forty-five pounds on the back,
packed. Once you land, the thing is all over the
place. Just gathering it to throw it over my shoulder was very different because my hands weren’t
big enough to hold all the lines without doing a
daisy chain on them. I have to daisy chain in order
to be able to hold it all together, and the men
don’t have to worry about that.
“Also, training the students with as much time as
I have. I’m smaller [than most of the male instructors]. I’ve got less surface area, I’m not as tall, I’m
not always going to be able to muscle the student
around. So making sure they’re trained properly,
that they’re understanding me, that they’re doing
what I’m asking them to, that’s been really interesting. You say it one way, and they don’t understand. So you have to find a way to make sure that
communication is coming through.
“A lot of times it’s like, I don’t know if you’re going
to try to kill me or not. So many things can go bad
with tandems. If they do the opposite of what you
ask them to, they could take you for a ride. It’s my
job to make it okay, but at the same time I know
what could go wrong.”
Being one of very few female instructors means
she is often in demand. “I have females who want
to jump with a female. I had a passenger who,
maybe something dramatic had happened in her
life, but she didn’t want to jump with a male instructor. One of the other instructors was messing
with her, and she was actually really fearful and
starting to cry. He didn’t mean to make her cry,
obviously, but she was just very, very sensitive.
Maybe something had happened to her. But she
felt very comfortable jumping with me. She requested me. And I was really careful and cautious
of her feelings and things like that. I bring that
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Cover Story
to the table, which the guys don’t. There are also
women who can only jump with women. During
the month of July, we have a lot of Middle Easterners who come out, who are traveling, so I’m in
high demand in July.”
Taking male passengers can have its own unique
dynamic. “I get men that are like, ‘I want to jump
with a girl.’ Or I’ll walk up to a passenger, ‘Hi, I’m
Angie, I’m going to be jumping with you,’ and
you’ll see them go, ‘Yes!’ I’ve never been asked
for my phone number. They’re not going to take
“I’m
going to go
on living, doing
what I like. I’m
not going to
change it.”
it to that next level. But it’s this really, really funny
thing when they get a female instructor and they
look over at their buddy and he’s like, ‘Why didn’t
I get a female instructor?’ It’s just hilarious.
“I’ve had a couple situations where I’ll walk up and
they’ll be afraid. You always know because they
ask, ‘So how many times have you done this?’ in
a different way. So I’ll say, ‘Oh, this is actually just
my second jump.’ Then I let them linger with that
for a little bit, let them soak it in, and then I say,
‘Hey look, I’ve done this quite a bit.’”
Most people who are a minority of any kind in
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Cover Story
their profession face some degree of added pressure and extra attention. While at times a liability,
it’s also a chance to shine, to offer a glimpse of
what’s possible. For new female skydivers, seeing
other women doing it and having other women
to look up to can make a huge difference, a fact
of which Angie is well aware. “I think that’s always in the back of my mind, being a big sister,
and being where I’m at right now in a sport that’s
mostly male-dominated. I’m constantly aware that
the girls doing this are kind of watching what I’m
doing. And that’s great. At the same time, I’m
still just myself. Sometimes I think, well, maybe I
should behave a certain way at the dropzone or
be a certain way. But this is just what I am.
“It’s hard. Being who you are is probably the hardest thing, one of the hardest things you can take
on.”
In addition to skydiving, Angie has started teaching scuba one day a week. “The fact that I’m skydiving and working on the island on a regular basis, I can’t even believe how lucky I am to be able
to do that. I’ll be skydiving for a day, and the next
day I’ll be scuba diving, and I’m like, God, this is
amazing. I can’t believe I’m actually earning a living doing that.”
Angie currently has over 2,600 skydives, including
more than 900 tandems, and she is sponsored by
some of the biggest brands in skydiving, including Mirage Systems, Icarus Canopies, and Larsen
& Brusgaard. She sits in the house she bought
during her real estate days, with her husband at
her side and their dog at her feet, contemplating the work, the sacrifices, the many paths and
people that have led her to this moment. From
the family that gave her reassurance that she was
loved and that her opinion mattered, to the two
women in New Zealand whose energy inspired
her. From her time in the Army that allowed her to
finish school, to the trip with Darren to Thailand
that helped her reset her life. From the heights of
the sky to the quiet depths of the sea. And, running through it all, a fierce determination.
“It’s always been really challenging to do the opposite of what people are thinking you’re supposed to do. It’s kind of an uphill battle. Physically, mentally, and just in general. I think what I’ve
always done is set my sights on a given goal, and
then nothing else mattered because that was the
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Cover Story
most important thing. If there’s anything that’s going to be remembered about me it’s how goal-oriented I am. I think that my parents would confirm
that. There’s no stopping me once I want that one
thing so badly. So that’s always just been my drive.
“When I was maybe five, six years old I was out
playing with all the kids on the block. My mom
was out looking for me, trying to find me, and the
next thing you know she’s found me with a lineup
of four or five of the neighborhood kids, telling
them how to climb this tree to get up to that wall,
to get onto the roof. All the parents were like,
your daughter’s trying to kill my kid. But I’ve got
them all lined up, I’m explaining the situation and
how we’re all going to make it happen, so I think
I’ve always been like that.”
Angie’s logo
Angie Aragon currently works at Skydive
Perris in Southern California. She can be
reached at [email protected]
Mara Schmid is a writer, poet, and the
editor in chief of Hussy Magazine.
Photo by Dean Chisholm
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Science Corner
Science Corner
The emission of carbon dioxide (CO2)
into the atmosphere has drastically increased—
more than 12 percent in the last 20 years! This
increase in atmospheric CO2 is thought to be
the largest driver of climate change, and human
activity is to blame. In particular, excessive deforestation and burning of fossil fuels have provided the catalyst for unprecedented levels of
atmospheric CO2. With the increase of CO2 in
the atmosphere comes a decrease in the pH of
the ocean due to a chemical process that binds
CO2 with water molecules. The ocean is said
to be a “carbon sink,” readily absorbing half of
all human-made CO2 from the atmosphere and
becoming more acidic. When I say the ocean is
becoming more acidic, I don’t mean we’ll soon
be swimming in an acid bath or even a huge jug
of lemonade, but the decrease in pH could be
significant enough to have deleterious effects
on marine organisms, especially those that calcify, or form shells. The increase in acidity could
also result in changes in the saturation state of
carbonate species such as calcite and aragonite, which are important for shell-building organisms.
W
hen asked to write an article for Hussy Magazine, I
immediately thought about the ocean—everyone
loves it, but few understand how collective human
activities upset the ocean and its inhabitants. I’m a marine environmental physiologist studying the forces of anthropogenic, or human-influenced, climate change on marine animals, so
you can imagine how important the ocean is to me. My scholarly focus is on the present and projected consequences of ocean
acidification (OA), and I never miss out on the opportunity to
raise awareness about this escalating environmental concern.
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Unfortunately, we remain largely unsure
of the fate of marine organisms as the pH of the
ocean declines. Will these organisms eventually
adapt? Will they stop being able to form shells?
Will species die off? Will more tolerant species
become dominate, leading to losses in biodiversity? There are many questions we still have
yet to answer, but researchers have made considerable headway over the past decade on the
effects of OA on marine organisms. This work
has led scientists and policymakers alike to worry about the fate of our oceans. OA has been
seen to interfere with certain organisms’ ability to calcify—shellfish (what we eat!) and coral reefs (what we dream about!), for example.
Another heart-wrenching tale of OA is the fate
of anemone fish or, more commonly, “Nemo”
The ocean is vast, accounting for
71% of the earth’s surface
and supporting almost 50%
of all animal species on earth.
fish. Scientists from Philip Munday’s Lab at
James Cook University, Australia, found that
OA impacts the behavior of anemone fish, for
instance their predator recognition and homing
ability. OA also impairs the judgment of these
fish causing them to be more daring and vulnerable to predators. Poor Nemo!
The ocean is vast, accounting for 71 percent of the earth’s surface and supporting almost 50 percent of all animal species on earth.
Yet the underwater world remains largely unexplored and largely misunderstood. Environmentalist and educator Jean-Michel Cousteau
asserts that “we can’t protect what we don’t
yet understand.” In the same spirit, I am committed to studying the ocean and educating
people on the actions they can take to reduce
their environmental impact. The movement of
knowledge will continue to be the most influential mechanism saving our oceans (and our
earth in general).
Tessa M. Page
Tessa Page is a graduate student
at the Romberg Tiburon Center for
Environmental Studies, San Francisco State University. She works
in marine environmental physiology, in particular studying how
anthropogenic environmental parameters affect marine organisms.
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So You Wanna...
So You Wanna...
SO YOU WANNA...
be
a BARTENDER
by Danielle Hansen Levy
photos by Joel Hindman
I’ll
take this moment to warn you: tending
bar is not for the faint of heart. Whether you are
interested in a career in the art of libations, or you
simply want to impress your friends or colleagues
at a social gathering, being an amazing bartender takes a lot of hard work and gumption. It’s not
just creativity at work here—although a little creativity at the right moment can make all the difference. You need to be comfortable with determining concise measurements, either with tools or
by eye. You also have to be socially comfortable
and confident. If it’s the money-making potential
you’re looking for, I will tell you, this is my personal
all-time favorite professional avenue. If you’re as
lucky as I am, it’ll be yours too.
The best bartender is the woman who enjoys many
different flavors with gusto—different flavors of alcohol, food, and people. The more that all three
of these click for you, the better a bartender you
will be overall. A bartender will often have a depth
of understanding about both quality and quantity
when it comes to taste, and can enjoy the cheesy
with the classy. Can you appreciate both a baked
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Hussy | FALL/2013
brie with toasted almonds and apricot compote,
and a grilled American cheese on white bread
with butter? The most important flavor you’ll need is passion.
Hard work and perseverance come easily when
they are driven by passion. This job is not for everyone, and it takes a certain personality to be truly kick-ass at it. You have to be able to work hard
and fast, and love it, which is easiest if you’re truly
passionate about what you’re doing. Anyone can
make a drink. People want to see bartenders who
are excited about their job, and who know how to
show their joie de vivre.
The best way to go about getting into the industry
is not necessarily by going to school for it, contrary to popular belief. I’m not saying bartending
school is a bad thing. It’s great for learning the
details, and specific skills of the trade. Nowadays,
you can find excellent deals on bargain websites,
and apps, that make a bartending class or school
a worthwhile endeavor. It very rarely, however, will
help you land a position anywhere reputable. The
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So You Wanna...
best way to get into the industry, ironically, is with
experience. You may be asking yourself, “How do
I get experience, if experience is required to get
hired in the first place?” Work your way up. Start in
an entry-level position within a company, and learn
how to do as much as possible. (This is actually a
bit of life experience advice I’d offer in almost any
trade/pastime. You can definitely find other avenues in, but by working your way up, you not only
increase and improve your skills, you also earn
the respect of those around you as you go. And
though it shouldn’t matter what anyone thinks,
personally, it is intelligent, and also often lucrative,
to go about things in a respectful manner.)
There are actually many avenues to approach for
starting in the food and beverage service industry
if you are not already there. The two most common are to apply as a cocktail server or barback
at the location of your choice. Neither position requires much, or any, experience, and once you’re
in at a great place, you can work on moving your
way up. The more restaurant and bar experience
you acquire at any one establishment, the more
reason managers will have to give you a shot be-
Hendrick’s and
Cucumber Martini
Hendrick’s is a unique gin in that it is more contemporary than the classic old school gins. The
two-still process they use to make it creates a
unique and multi-layered flavor with heavy hints
of cucumber and rose. This is a very simple recipe
using ingredients found at most bars that will
enhance the already-present flavors and complexities of this gin.
3 slices of cucumber
2 wedges of lime
Dash of dry vermouth 2 oz Hendrick’s Fill martini glass with ice to chill. Add 2 of the
cucumber slices, and the juice of 1 lime wedge to
a shaker and muddle together. Add the vermouth,
gin, and ice, and shake vigorously. Empty ice from
martini glass, and strain your concoction in! Garnish with remaining lime wedge and cucumber.
pg
40
Hussy | FALL/2013
So You Wanna...
hind the bar. Women often take the cocktail route
while men tend towards barbacking. I myself have
done both, in addition to bussing, cooking, table
service, and a handful of other food- and beverage-related positions. The harder the work, the
better it prepares you.
“The harder the work, the
better it prepares you”
When it comes to your unique look, keep in mind
that most places have a dress code of some sort.
Always stick to your dress code, but find a way
to make your outfit look unique within the confines. Accessories are key. Usually the dress code
involves all black, or a black bottom with a white
top. If this is the case, unique accessories will help
to make your outfit stand out. Jewelry, belts, vests,
and shoes can be added/switched up to emanate
your style. At some bars, there is no dress code, in
which case, you are one of the lucky ones. The
key is to find an outfit that is you, only you-er. And
these days, there are no rules with style. Please
do not feel confined by modern fashion. Do you!
Also try to find a way to incorporate some function
in with your form. I like for my coworkers to know
that they can come to me for almost any problem;
I will probably have a tool to help.
There are many different kinds of bars out there
just waiting to be tended. Each of them has a
unique personality, but most are able to fit into a
small list of categories. There’s the restaurant bar,
the hotel bar, the banquet bar, the nightclub bar,
and the dive bar.
The restaurant is my personal favorite. Here you
are not only dealing with libations: you are often
serving food as well. Sometimes it’s just appetizers, but many restaurants these days will offer the
entire menu at the bar. People will sit at the bar to
wait for their tables or the rest of their party. Some
groups never leave the bar. As with any bar, the
potential for developing regular customers here is
huge. Be wonderful, and they’ll be back! And the
bartender at this type of bar isn’t just serving the
people sitting in front of her. All alcoholic beverages (and some non-alcoholic ones) that are ordered
in the restaurant are made by this bartender. The hotel bar is often also a restaurant bar. The
fun part about this is you have the ever-changing
clientele of hotel guests in addition to any local or
regular clientele from the area. This can be fun if
you enjoy meeting new people and hearing travel
stories. Essentially, you are the go-to for “booze
without driving” for these people, and often, they
love you for it!
Banquet bars can be found within both restaurants and hotels, along with other private venues
such as amusement parks, private homes, and
banquet halls. These bartenders specialize in taking care of guests at private events such as weddings, anniversaries, birthday parties, and Bar and
Bat Mitzvahs. Often, the banquet bartender is on
staff within the venue as a regular bartender or
other type of employee. There are also services,
like caterers, that provide staffing specifically for
private events. Some private parties will hire or
appoint their own bartender. The banquet bar
is often hosted or partially paid for by the hosts,
but occasionally requires some type of payment
from the guests. At the very least, it is good etiquette for guests to tip their bartender for individual drinks made. This type of bar offers a whole
different type of experience in which the bartender becomes a member of the party. You are their
bartender. You bring the flow. It’s a great opportunity to have a little fun while you work (though,
I find any time is a good time for fun at work!).
in your look, in your attitude, and in your drinks. To
be an extremely successful bartender, you need to
stand out, and your unique style is the way to do
that. Which reminds me. . . A bartender is only as good
as the tools they carry. Most bars provide some
necessary tools, but whether you’re on your own
at home, or starting a first shift at a new bar (having your own kit often impresses new employers—
Venturing into the world of nightclub bars can be
fun and exciting as well. Usually this bar is only
booze, as little to no food is served here. Careful!
Drunk “club kids” tend to be the unruliest of all
types of bar patrons. At this bar, they’re here to
get drunk. They’re out to party, and booze is their
best friend, and the “cutoff” becomes your responsibility. Everyone likes to party, but not everyone knows their own limits. In addition to making
awesome drinks, the nightclub bartender needs to
know how to tell people when enough is enough.
Last, but not least, is the dive bar. Probably the
hardest to get into, the dive bar also has the most
potential for fun. This bar has the highest percentage of regular and returning customers. They
get to know you, and you get to know them. As a
bartender, I kid that I know people by what they
drink better than I know them by name. This is the
bar where you not only know every Whiskey Sour,
Long Island Iced Tea, and Draft Beer that walks
through that door, you might also know every Jim,
Lynn, and Stevie too.
Nutty Pear Martini
This is my rendition of a drink at the bar where I work
(their recipe must remain a secret). Subtly sweet and
deliciously tart, this cocktail can be enjoyed for dessert,
or just because.
2 oz Grey Goose La Poire
1 1/4 oz Disarrono Amaretto
Juice of 1 lime
1/2 oz simple syrup
1 slice of pear
Simple syrup is made by combining 1 part sugar
(white, or my favorite—raw) with 1 part hot water. I
recommend making it in quantities, and then keeping
it in a reusable glass bottle for future use.
Fill martini glass with ice to chill. Combine all ingredients (except pear slice) in shaker with ice, and shake,
shake, shake!!! Empty ice from martini glass, and strain
in—delicious! Float pear slice on top for garnish.
Once you decide where you want to work, you
need to develop your personal and unique style—
FALL/2013 |
Hussy
pg
41
So You Wanna...
So You Wanna...
could be problems with the kitchen, or issues with
computers/registers that may be out of their control. This goes for ALL service industry professionals. There is a famous comedian who is said to be
particularly famous within the industry for always
tipping 100% no matter what the service was like.
He has been known to say that as a former service professional, he knows that sometimes we
just plain have bad days. But let me tell you, a tip
like that could turn any professional’s frown upside
down! 100% might be a bit excessive though. 15
– 20% is the norm. But as someone who knows, I
usually give 20 or more, because receiving a 30%
tip makes my day, and I love to share that feeling.
In case you are going out for happy hour, or other
good bargain drinking, keep in mind 20% may still
be too low. Every drink that’s made deserves at
least a dollar. That math is way easier too! Good
Tips = Good Karma.
it lets ‘em know you mean business), there are a
few basic tools every bartender needs. These are
the bare minimum: cocktail shaker and strainer,
corkscrew (wine key), beer bottle opener, muddler,
bar spoon, citrus juicer, knife and cutting board,
and a jigger. Multiple pens and a pad of paper
come in handy too—for inventory, or a shopping
list, or even to remember orders. I keep these and
some of the more useful tools handy in my utility
apron. Pants pockets work just fine for most people though.
tinis, but your old fashioneds will probably always
be subpar. Alcohol is an acquired taste. If you want
to enhance your skills, expand your taste buds.
Still, every bartender will have favorite drinks to
make. Whether you specialize in flavored vodkas, or you have a few favorites in each category,
develop your favorites to the best of your ability.
Make drinks at home for friends, and experiment
with ingredients. And since bartenders enjoy hosting, your house will become the “place to be” in
no time.
When you’ve got your look and tool kit down, you’ll
need to turn to your showmanship style. Do you
do things that are funny? Do you have a unique
sense of humor in general? Are you sassy—do you
know how to get people riled up just right? Do
you know who needs their own space, and when
to let people do their own thing? These are all important behind the bar. The more fun you are able
to have with your customers and the better your
communication, the more they will enjoy their experience, and the better they will tip you.
Now. Even if working as a bartender isn’t what
you’re aiming for, chances are you have a bartender or two in your life. When going out, remember
that bartenders are people too! It may look like
they have it easy, making drinks, talking, and flirting all night, but this is one of the hardest-working
jobs in the industry. Take good care of your bartender, and you will always be taken care of in return. Just like servers, most bartenders in the United States make minimum wage (or below, some
states have a service industry minimum wage
that is far less then the regular minimum wage).
TIP YOUR BARTENDER. If you can’t afford to tip,
don’t go out. They are providing a service for you,
and they have to declare tips on all sales. If you
buy drinks from them and don’t tip them, you are
literally taking money out of their paychecks. Of
course you should tip them according to their
level of service, but keep in mind that there is always more than meets the eye going on behind
the scenes. If you are getting slow service, there
It is my firmest belief that you’re only as good a
bartender as the variety of booze that you yourself
can enjoy and appreciate. The more you can, and
like to, change up what you consume, the better a
bartender you have the potential to be. Now this
is a quality, NOT quantity, situation. I tend to find
that the drinks you like the best are the ones you
make the best! If you like vodka and gin, but hate
whiskey, you’ll be able to learn to make great marpg
42
Hussy | FALL/2013
If you’re headed to a busy bar, and you’re having
a hard time getting served, keep a few things in
mind. First of all, cash is king! If the bar is busy, and
you’re holding cash out so the bartender can see,
you will be served as promptly as humanly possible. Pay for each round independently, or, open a
tab with a card, but leave a big cash tip right off
the bat, so they remember you for future rounds.
Make your first tip the biggest tip, just to trigger
their memory.
If you love people and flavor, tending bar can be
a rewarding and lucrative experience. Developing
your bartending skills can make you the hit at any
party. Hard work and happiness can go hand in
hand.
Magnificent Mai Tai
My nickname for rum drunk is pirate drunk. After
watching its effects on many people, I’ve noticed the
desire to swing from things and often create a general ruckus that reminds me appropriately of the way
you’d expect a pirate to act. I am particularly fond of
a good Mai Tai, and a good Mai Tai can be hard to
find. From personal experience, I recommend ordering
this drink only from bars that list it as a specialty of
the house, because there’s no telling what random
ingredients some people think go into this potentially
delectable delight. I stayed with a classic combination that tastes like a hopped-up fruit punch with a
kick, and looks like a beach sunset in a glass. Just
enough rum to get you feeling like pillaging and plundering in no time flat. Arrgh!
1 1/2 oz light rum (Bacardi Silver works)
Orange juice
Pineapple juice
1/2 oz Creme de Noyaux
1/4 oz Grenadine
1/2 oz dark rum (Meyers is the classic, but you can
use anything from Kraken to Sailor Jerry’s to the Captain depending on taste)
Hurricane glass
Tall soda straw
1 Maraschino cherry
1/2 slice of orange
Fill glass with ice and add the light rum. Add juices
(half and half) until glass is almost full, about 1/4 inch
from the top. Drop the creme de noyaux and grenadine in, down the side of the glass so that it falls to
the bottom. Add the straw and use it to lightly mix the
pink liquids so that they make a layer at the bottom
of the glass. Drop the dark rum on top so it floats in
its very own layer. Garnish glass with orange, and insert cherry stem into straw so that the cherry dangles
just so.
Danielle Hansen Levy is a San Fernando Valley native
and a fulltime bartender at 94th Aero Squadron, a
Valley essential since the 1960s. She is currently planning her end-of year wedding to her fiancé Steve,
also a Valley native and the love of her life.
FALL/2013 |
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pg
43
Women Around the World
Women Around the World
independent woman?
WOMEN
AROUND THE WORLD
Marwa Rakha, Egypt
Interview by Juliet Annerino
Juliet Annerino: Marwa, I know you as an
outspoken and at times controversial writer, radio personality, blogger, social commentator, advice columnist, poet, humorist, wife, and mother, who was born and
raised in Egypt and is living in “6 October
City”, just outside of Cairo. Please tell us a
bit more about who you are, and how you
are possibly quite different from the average Egyptian woman.
Marwa Rakha: I am not different from the
average Egyptian woman. I just had the
opportunity to voice my rebellion against
limiting insensible traditions. The best way
to show that societal norms do not work in
our favor was to actually go against them!
I just did it my way and enjoyed every bit
of it.
JA: As an Egyptian woman, what unique
obstacles do you face, socially and in relation to being a particularly strong and
pg
44
Hussy | FALL/2013
who rebel are strong and those who endure abuse
and domination are also strong. Not all Egyptian
MR: The biggest obstacle is judgment! People are women could break free like I did.
quick to pass judgment when it comes to a woman trying to fulfill her potential and savor life the JA: The insight into TV shows in Egypt is especially
way it’s meant to be savored! The worst and most interesting and very important since I believe Caiimpactful is rejection from family members. The ro is the “Hollywood” of the Middle East. Tell us,
people you expect to love you unconditionally are are most Egyptian girls expected to marry, have
the first ones to block your path with expressed or children and forego any career of their own? If so,
unexpressed negativity.
do you see this changing?
JA: I’d love to get your views on the changes
you’ve seen in how Egyptian women are treated,
viewed, and regarded by Egyptian men and in the
Egyptian media in the last 10 to 15 years. Have you
seen changes? If so, what kinds?
MR: It is true that most Egyptian girls are expected to get married and have kids; by the age of 25
mothers of single girls begin to worry. If a girl is
30 and unmarried almost everyone in her family is
worried. If she is over 35, the society is quite judgmental.
MR: I have seen regression in the status of wom- Some girls are really not interested in geten! A setback in the way women are represent- ting married and starting a family but their peace
ed in the media. Take television for example; in of mind is constantly disturbed by other people’s
expectations!
black and white movies and
As for career, there is
in movies in the 70s, women
“Egyptian
women
no clear social rule that says
were portrayed as strong,
that a girl is not allowed to
independent, determined,
are very strong.
work. Actually most Egypuninhibited, and emotionally
Those who rebtian women work for monliberated creatures! Whether
ey or esteem. The problem
they chose to work, stay at
el
are
strong
and
is usually with how seriously
home, have kids or not, or
those who enthat woman takes her job or
socialize and party—it was
career. There will always be
always their choice.
dure abuse and
sacrifices, compromises, and
There was even one
negotiations. Men still exmovie called “My Wife, The
domination are
pect the woman to be fully in
General Manager” that disalso strong. Not
charge of the home and the
cussed the inner struggles of
kids and those who cannot
a husband when his wife and
all Egyptian womafford house help—a nanny,
colleague gets promoted
en could break
tutors, cooks, drivers, and
and becomes the GM! Today
other luxury services—really
you have two types of womfree like I did.”
suffer.
en in movies: the slutty divorced unethical liberal, and
JA: Let’s talk just a bit about
the happily married/about to
be married/will eventually get married conserva- a cultural difference that most American women
tive docile woman.
would find difficult to understand: the option for
The image of the macho (polygamous) man their husband to take a second wife. How comwho keeps his woman on a tight leash is eminent mon is this and how do you think most Egyptian
on television. Scenes of domestic violence and women feel about this? I understand the limit is
aggression towards wives, sisters, and girlfriends four wives for a man.
are also an integral part of most shows.
Egyptian women are very strong. Those MR: The subject of a second wife is not as complex
FALL/2013 |
Hussy
pg
45
Women Around the World
as it seems! Most men are not monogamous
by choice. If a man has the opportunity and the
choice, he would like to explore women as opposed to being committed to only one woman for
the rest of his life. Whether he got married for love
or not, at a young age or rather late in life, a man
finds it suffocating to be fully faithful to one woman. Some men manage to tame that need and invest in the relationship and manage to become a
true family man, but many others have affairs. The
affairs could be of a mere physical nature or based
on love and feelings. This is exactly the second
wife situation. A man has a legal affair with a woman for sex or love or any other reason.
Not all Muslim men take a second wife—
many prefer to have affairs and flings. Some men
Tough Stuff
true warriors and heroines! They deal with discrimination, misogyny, harassment, objectification,
and abuse in their everyday life but they still manage to finish their education, get a job, and raise
their kids! A lot of them fully support their families
whether they have husbands or not. It is not easy
being a woman in Egypt but we have adapted
and evolved in numerous ways. It does not matter
which social class or background a woman comes
from—we have all developed senses and powers
to navigate us through turbulent times.
Find out more about Marwa at her website
www.MarwaRakha.com.
Men still expect the woman to be fully
in charge of the home and the kids.
take a second wife, then divorce her, then take another woman to be the second wife. Some have
three or four wives! To grasp that concept, think
of your typical American womanizer but give him
a license from God.
If their man must be unfaithful, then most
women would rather he had an affair as opposed
to a second wife. It sort of soothes her ego to know
that the other woman is a dirty illegitimate secret
that is bound to end.
Affairs happen in all social classes, and second marriages are common where the man and
the affair woman have religious convictions. A lot
of those marriages are “orfi”, or common law marriages. They are religiously correct but are not officially documented.
JA: Finally, if there is one thing you could explain
to American women about life in Egypt for Egyptian women, what might that be? Maybe there’s
some common misconception that you’d like to
set straight for us? Thank you so much again for
your time and thoughtfulness in answering our
questions.
MR: Egyptian women are very strong! They are
pg
46
Hussy | FALL/2013
Juliet Annerino is a writer, music composer, and director based in Los Angeles.
She loves to travel, and performs jazz as
well as her original nu-jazz/neo-soul music
internationally. Find out more at
www.MatahariMusic.net.
TOUGH
STUFF
Sexual Harassment
A True Story by Lily H.*
I recently graduated from college and started my first
job using my college degree. I was hired by a man
named Mark* who runs his own business helping
people make their homes and offices more green (i.e.
reduce their carbon footprint). At first I found working
with him stimulating and exciting. I was meeting new,
interesting, and intelligent people every day and also
gaining a lot of new information. For the first couple
weeks, Mark and I spent a lot of time visiting clients’
homes and offices, and attending meetings. As we
got to know each other, I began to like him more and
more—he was interesting, knowledgeable, and funny.
I started working at his home office. He is married
and has a couple grown children in college and his
wife works outside the home, so it was just him and
me working in the house. We were working on the
projects for his clients who we had met with in the
previous weeks.
One day he was training me on a computer program,
then left me to do some work while he attended a
meeting. Well, I was getting the hang of the computer
program, but after I had been working for a couple
hours, the program suddenly crashed and I lost all
my work. When Mark came back from the meeting, I
told him what had happened and he helped me try to
retrieve it. We worked on retrieving the data for about
45 minutes without success. Finally he thought he
found the solution from some information in a forum
online, and as we waited to see if this would work, he
said, “Feel free to kiss me if this works.” I just laughed
nervously, thinking, “Surely he’s joking, right?” But it
made me a little uncomfortable, and I had every right
to feel uncomfortable—he knew I was nervous about
losing the work, yet he made a comment that he knew
would just make me feel worse. Also, throughout the
whole ordeal, he kept rubbing my shoulders and back,
and once rubbed my butt. (It was very brief, so I didn’t
say anything, but I should have!) Anyway, we stopped
for lunch finally, unable to retrieve my lost work.
I had met Mark through a co-worker of mine at my
part-time job waitressing. My co-worker, Kim, was a
friend of his wife. When I told Kim that I had gotten
my degree in environmental science, she told me
about her friend’s husband, and thought he might
have a job for me. She introduced me to Mark at
the restaurant, and we discussed some things briefly
about a project he was working on, for which he
needed someone who could implement a program
on nature therapy. He called me about a month later
and we discussed the details of the job. In addition to
making a program on nature therapy, he wanted me
to take notes at meetings and help him run estimates
on energy costs using a computer program. I was
unsure about running the computer program, but
he said he was willing to train me on that aspect, so I
accepted the job.
I had brought my lunch, and we ate in his kitchen. I
was glad for the mental break, and hoped to have
After the first couple weeks of attending meetings a quiet, relaxing lunch to re-energize myself before
and getting to know how things worked, Mark and working on the computer again. But as we ate, Mark
FALL/2013 |
Hussy
pg
47
Tough Stuff
Tough Stuff
started asking me personal questions about how
I was raised. I had mentioned soon after starting to
work for him that I was raised in a fundamentalist
Christian community, because he was very interested
in different religious groups, and ever since he kept
bringing up the subject, even though I told him it
hadn’t been a good experience for me.
“
We’ll have
to find a
le
b
a
t
sui hment
s
i
n
u
p
for you.
”
So, there we were at his kitchen table, his wife was
at work, and he was asking me questions like, “How
were you punished as a child?” and “How did you deal
with leaving the church?” I told him the story of me
having anxiety attacks in church, and dealing with the
pain by going on walks in the woods, and I touched
on how hard it was to leave my parents, church, and
home. He said that he thought it was apparent I still
had some emotional issues. It was not a comfortable
or re-energizing lunch for me, but I wasn’t really upset
with him. I was more upset with myself for being so
shy and guarded about my past. I am an introvert,
and once struggled with social anxiety, so I often find
social situations, especially with strangers, to be a little
awkward. I went back to work, thinking to myself, “If
only you were more open and outgoing, you wouldn’t
find this conversation awkward.”
But as we got back to work, he made another comment
that unnerved me, saying (about the lost work), “We’ll
have to find a suitable punishment for you.” I laughed
nervously again, hoping he was joking. We worked in
silence for a few minutes, and then he asked, “So, Lily,
would you consider yourself a submissive person?”
Out of the blue. This time I was so floored, I laughed
out loud, in surprise, and dismay. “Why couldn’t he
just let this go?” I wondered. But I felt obligated to
answer, so I said “Yes.” He replied that he found that
fascinating. Now I was getting mad, if only because he
was totally wrong—being submissive isn’t fascinating.
It means you rarely get your say. So I told him, that
no, it wasn’t fascinating, it was actually hard, because
pg
48
Hussy | FALL/2013
often I had trouble standing up for myself. But he
asked me if my submissiveness had ever gotten me
in trouble. I thought of what we had just talked about
over lunch, my controlling parents and my struggle
to stand up to them—isn’t it obvious that it did? But I
went along with him, saying well, I guess not, thinking
that it was probably getting me into trouble as I spoke.
He was really starting to creep me out. I remembered
a phone message from the morning when he was at
the meeting, and attempted to change the subject by
telling him about it.
“A guy called looking for an internship this morning,”
I said. “I forgot to tell you when you came back from
the meeting.” I showed him the note I had written
with the guy’s name and number. Mark rolled over
in his chair (our desks were so close together in the
cramped home office that they were touching) while
I was talking. He rubbed my back and said playfully,
“Trying to keep away the competition, eh?” I said
nothing. He asked me what he should tell the guy
who wanted the job—I was basically Mark’s intern
at the moment, so he wouldn’t need anyone else. I
didn’t say anything, and he responded, “Oh, don’t
worry I’ll tell him I have a nice, submissive girl working
for me.” I gave my nervous little laugh, but I was angry
and hurt inside. What a creep. And the touching was
getting to be too much. I had to tell him to stop,
but just the thought of confronting him made me
shrink up inside. I hate confrontation and making
other people uncomfortable. “But he’s making you
uncomfortable,” a reasonable voice inside me said.
And he was. I could barely concentrate on my work
with him sitting so close to me, making personal
comments and touching me every chance he got. For
some reason I thought of Dan Savage, a sex advice
columnist who I listen to religiously, and I knew that
he would advise me to speak up immediately and
tell this creep off. So, I sucked up my courage and
finally told him that his touching was making me
uncomfortable. He was shocked that I had said it—I
guess I wasn’t his perfect submissive girl after all! He
stopped touching me. The rest of the day went by
really slowly, as I worked tediously on the unfamiliar
computer program. I was still trying to figure out what
he meant by those comments and what to do if he
said anymore. We worked in a rather awkward silence
for the rest of the day. I asked him questions about
how things worked from time to time, and he asked if
I was done with my work long before I was even close. this whole ordeal, I replied only by saying, “Send the
Finally I finished my work and left his house.
check in the mail.” She had advised me not to reply
to any email he sent, but since he offered to drop by
I was so relieved to get out of that house! I drove my house, I felt I should make it clear I didn’t want
to the closest ice cream shop and ordered a hot him to. Her advice not to respond to anything he sent
fudge sundae. I needed something
was based on a theory that many people
to make me feel better. My
who harass others get satisfaction out
boyfriend was out of town,
of people’s reactions, no matter
and I had no one I felt
if they are good or bad. The
comfortable to talk to
theory comes from a book
about the way Mark
called the Gift of Fear,
had treated me.
by Gavin Debecker,
I have a sister
which is a great read
who I am really
for anyone who
close to who lives
wants to be safer
halfway
across
against all kinds of
the country, so I
perils out there.
sent her an email
about my awful
Even though my
day at work. She
first job with my
sent me an email
college
degree
back, telling me
didn’t lead me
she was worried,
anywhere
great
and that I should
career-wise, it gave
be careful. I was
me good experience
really stressed out, and
on how to handle myself
unsure of what to do. I
in a tough situation. I
needed to practice working
learned the importance of
on the new computer program
trusting your gut. Thinking back
so I wouldn’t be so slow at work next
on that day, I should have left
week (it was Thursday and I didn’t have
halfway through the day, because of
to work again until Tuesday), but I couldn’t stomach how uncomfortable Mark was making me feel. The
doing that. I went to bed early that night, feeling reason I didn’t was so as not to cause a scene, but in
shaken and exhausted.
the interest of my own safety and self-esteem, I should
have left as soon as he made me uncomfortable, or
Over the next several days, I thought about the things at least I should have spoken forcefully about how
Mark had said and done, and discussed them with unacceptable his comments and questions were. A
my close friends, and decided I had to quit the job. few days after sending the email, I did receive the
I got some advice from a lawyer, so that I could be check from him in the mail, and plan to use the money
sure I was wording the email in the best way possible to go see one of my favorite musical artists!
to get the money owed to me and make sure he left
me alone. I sent the email to Mark on Monday, the
*The names in this story have been changed
day before I was supposed to go back in to work. I
to protect the individuals’ privacy.
sent it right before I went in to work at the restaurant
and when I got home from work several hours later
If you are being sexually harassed, or experiencing
he sent me an email of his own, saying, “Sorry this
another form of sexual violence, please reach out
isn’t working for either of us.” He offered to drop
to an organization like RAINN for help.
the check off at my house the next day. Taking the
www.RAINN.org
advice of a close friend who had helped me through
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The Pursuit of Health & Happiness
the pursuit of
9
health &
happiness
Overcoming
ANOREXIA
by Elaine Schmid
The Pursuit of Health & Happiness
It started with an idea that my teenage brain
thought was perfect: “If I just lost five pounds,
then I would be the perfect size. Then I might be
one of the popular kids. If I just lost five pounds, I
might actually be noticed.” And so it began.
I lost the first five pounds I set out to lose, plus
some. Before I knew it, I was 15 years old, 5 foot
7 inches tall, and 90 pounds. My menstrual cycle
ceased to exist. I was cold all the time. I needed a
belt and safety pins if I wanted my clothes to stay
on. My routines for exercise and eating (or lack
thereof) were so inflexible that if I slipped up even
slightly, I broke down and cried inconsolably and
forced my tired, weak body to make up for it the
next day. I wasn’t more popular, and I did not feel
more noticed.
For months and months, it continued. I felt like I
had no choice. If I wanted to be the most popular kid in high school, if I wanted people to actually notice me, and if I wanted to be the perfect
size, then losing that first five pounds just wasn’t
enough. I felt like a prisoner of my own thoughts;
my mind was controlling my body. My self-hatred
was all-consuming.
I dug up a diary entry from this period of time for
this article: “I feel like crying. I don’t want to sleep.
I want to cut every piece of fat off of me. I’m sick
of life. How did I let myself get this fat? I’m the
dumbest person on Earth. I HATE MY BODY!!!!
I AM FAT!!!!!! Yes, I truly am. And I hope I can
start my diet tomorrow or right now. I hate myself.
Good Night.”
I kept shedding the pounds—ten, fifteen, twenty,
twenty-five, thirty, thirty-five. Then, finally, after losing thirty-five pounds, my life, my mind, and my
body slowly began to shift.
Quite honestly, I’m not really sure how the shifting or “recovery” actually happened. I didn’t receive any hospitalized treatment; in fact, I didn’t
really receive any professional treatment at all,
due to my family’s choices. I probably could have
benefited from professional treatment, and I’m
not advocating for anyone to avoid treatment. I
think that two things in particular helped me move
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Hussy | FALL/2013
forward—a caring friend, and inner strength and we look like is going to fluctuate over the course
courage—and I believe that each of us has these of our lives (just look at a photo of a person as
an infant and the same person as an 80-year-old,
things in some shape or form.
and you’ll get what I mean), but who we truly are
I had a friend who was persistent with me; per- and what we truly seek are constants in our lives.
sistent in telling me and showing me that I was Our task is to get in touch with our true selves and
discover who we really are, so
beautiful, funny, intelligent,
strong, courageous, and loving.
My true self provided that we can distinguish our own
voice from the monster’s voice.
She believed in me when I had
me
with
the
inner
no belief left in myself. Especially when we are in the depths of
courage and strength Anorexia or not, I never became the most popular kid in
despair, we all need a friend like
to
move
forward.
high school or the “perfect”
this. Maybe this friend is an old
friend, a new friend, your spouse,
size or someone that everyone
a family member, your child. Whoever it is, keep noticed, but by my last day of high school I was
them close; don’t push them away. Listen to them. brave and courageous enough to stand in front of
my community and speak my mind about loving
They know you best.
yourself no matter what your body looks like. In
As the monster named Anorexia nervosa con- that moment, I felt true to myself, I felt love for
sumed my life, I felt extremely lost. I wasn’t really who I had become, and I was proud of who I was.
sure who I was anymore. What I didn’t fully realize
If you or someone you know is struggling with
until years later was that even though I felt lost,
an
eating disorder, please reach out and call the
I was not lost. The true essence of who I am was
National Eating Disorders (NEDA) helpline at
buried beneath all of the self-degrading, self-hat1-800-931-2237.
ing thoughts and actions. No matter what we do or
where we go, our true selves are there with us. My
true self provided me with the inner courage and Elaine Schmid is a grade-school teacher and animal lover.
She lives in Duluth, Minnesota with her husband, their dog,
strength to move forward. How much we weigh,
Quill, and their rabbit, Tayser.
what we eat, how much we exercise, and what
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Recipes
b r ea d &
Recipes
breakfast
Jane’s
Breakfast
Beer
Bread
By Jane Schmid
Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day,
probably because I have a big sweet
tooth and many breakfast foods can be
sweet. I have a couple good, quick recipes for breakfasts that I use every day.
Sure, they’re a little less convenient
than a donut you grab on your way to
work, but they’re better for your body
and more satisfying. They’re full of protein and fiber, and they’ll last you all
morning. And they are sure to satisfy
your sweet tooth, because they are full
of delicious fruit!
By Karen Emmert
Last year I spent some time abroad in Botswana. Being faced with a litany of foreign foods
and grocery stores that held the same, I was
inspired to learn how to create familiar flavors on my own without the benefit of America’s over-abundance. A third of the time I had
to do this without running water in my house
and by borrowing a friend’s oven, proving
that regardless of any obstacle, you can find
a way. Your favorite foods can be recreated
with simple straightforward ingredients that
can even be found—for the most part—in obscure African villages.
This beer bread is the perfect example, with
its dark notes and hearty taste. It is extremely
simple, leaving space for creativity and perfect for anyone who is frightened by the notion of baking bread.
Many people think that beer bread with cheap,
flavorless beer is the best way to go. But it’s
not about the darkness of the brew, it’s about
the beer’s hop content. The more hops (bitter
or floral notes) the beer has, the more bitter
your bread will turn out. In other words, keep
all Indian Pale Ales away from this bread! If
you like the darker flavors of nutty brunette
ales, whole wheat, and brown sugar, then this
bread is a perfect fit for you.
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1 ½ cups bread flour
1 ½ cups whole-wheat flour
1 ½ teaspoons salt
3 tablespoons dark brown sugar
12oz Rogue Hazelnut brown nectar (or Samuel Smith’s
Nut Brown Ale)
Pepitas (pumpkin seeds) for sprinkling on top
3 tablespoons butter (optional. It’s vegan without it, but
there is less of a crust crunch if you leave it out.)
1) Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
2) Lightly grease 9 x 5 loaf pan.
3) Mix dry ingredients together.
4) Add beer and mix until ingredients are well combined (do not over-mix).
5) Pour batter into pan and sprinkle with pepitas.
6) Pour melted butter evenly on batter.
7) Bake for 40 – 50 minutes (the type of beer your use
will affect this) and get ready for the smell of a lifetime.
8) Test with toothpick or knife. The bread will be done
when browned on top and your tester comes out
clean.
Serving suggestion:
I like to eat it for breakfast with a little bit of whipped
cream cheese. And if you have a Bosc pear, slice it
thinly and throw it on there. You will be amazed.
Fruit and Oatmeal
Breakfast
Protein Antioxidant
Smoothie
This makes a single serving of oatmeal, perfect for
a quick, nutritious breakfast to start out a busy day.
And you’ll never get bored making it—you can always
change the spices, fruits, and nuts for different varieties.
A great protein- and nutrient-filled drink to start
your day off right! Although I haven’t tried it, I
think you could use coconut or almond yogurt in
the smoothie. Unsweetened coconut or almond
milk would probably work well—just put in a little
less since it is more runny than regular yogurt.
½ cup old-fashioned oats
½ – ¾ cup whole milk, depending on how thick you like
your oatmeal (hint: unsweetened coconut or almond
milk works just as well)
1 tablespoon maple syrup or honey
A pinch of salt
¼ – ½ cup diced apples, fresh or frozen blueberries,
raspberries, or any other fruit you like
2 tablespoons chopped walnuts or almonds
¼ teaspoon cinnamon, cloves, allspice, nutmeg, or cardamom; or a mixture of these spices
Mix all ingredients together in a microwavable bowl.
Microwave on high for 3 minutes. You can add more
milk after microwaving to make the consistency more to
your liking.
½ cup plain yogurt
1 banana
¼ grapefruit or ½ orange, peeled and broken
into sections
A handful of fresh or frozen blueberries, strawberries, blackberries, or raspberries
A handful of raw walnuts or almonds
¼ teaspoon cinnamon, nutmeg, ground ginger,
cardamom, or cloves
2 tablespoons water
Put all ingredients in blender. Blend on highest
speed until it has reached your desired drinking
consistency.
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Original Art
Original Art
freedom
motion
dance
Artwork by Evelyn Stamey
of Evelyn’s work can be found at
| More
www.evelynstamey.com.
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Original Art
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Original Art
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Original Art
Original Art
by Karen Emmert
complacency
My low thread count,
cotton sheets have
decided I am worth keeping.
But your bellowing reminds me
there is coffee for drinking
and the 405 for facing
in all of its disparity.
On Wednesday when
LA does not need Occupying,
India has no orphans,
and the planet isn't burning,
stirring my sourdough
starter is reason enough
to sooth my complaining clock.
Omnipresent
God is sterling silver between
your bible belt breasts.
He is Louis Vuitton hijabs
exiting the Sultanahmet metro.
We will write words without meaning. We will fly on laughter
and a twitch of a hip. I'll make you a playlist of every feeling
you've ever evoked in me because those fucking chords say
it better than I ever will. You will be independent, you will be
strong, you will be fierce. You will have people because you
want them, not because you need a hand to hold or a soul
to steal. We will whisper to the stars we cannot see and fall
on our knees begging the moon to give us those answers to
the questions we dare not ponder in the daylight. Order me
a chai because you know how coffee makes me feel. Smoke
cigarettes without inhaling because we need to be dirtier but
we love our pink pink lungs. A heartbeat is my favorite song.
by Myndi Love
God is tattooed on your wrist,
a fish branded permanently
on your hip swaying to
the Armani suit sales pitch.
God is yamakas on Ventura Blvd.,
a soup-kitchen photo op.
He is gold cathedral ceilings,
and leaf-censored statues.
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iˈtaːlja
Photography by Devin Ford
The summer of 2007 was magical for me. I decided to explore
Europe, on my own. Exploring other countries by yourself may be
daunting to some, but it gave me the chance to really explore, to
concentrate on the work, and to trust in myself. I would encourage
all of you to take a trip by yourself. It will be an adventure you
will always treasure and will give you the confidence to be more
adventurous in your everyday life. La Dolce Vita!
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Original Art
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Original Art
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Original Art
Original Art
the
“ You may haveuniverse
...
... if I may have
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Italy ”
- Giuseppe Verdi
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Original Art
Original Art
Devin Ford has a
degree in professional
photography and her
clients include the
Rockefeller Foundation and the LA Times.
Check out her work at
www.devinford.com.
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Original Art
the names, but I still participated in the laughter. It was just too contagious! And as the
beautiful objects
original prose by Athalia Rahim
streetlights came on and the night bugs began to hum, I sailed away, falling fast asleep
into the cushions, until a hand shook me awake for the greatest moment of the night: the
cutting of my grandpa’s cherry cake!
Earlier, I had watched him mix the batter from scratch as I carefully cut each mara-
schino cherry into equal quarters, then watched them dot the creamy-white of the batter
I admired the different colored vases lining my grandmother’s kitchen window—
like the chicken pox I had recovered from only months ago. I remember the image of him
blue and green blown glass, bright orange clay, ceramic with hand-painted flowers. It
standing in his little white apron with the funny quote on it (I forget the exact words, but I
was just another Saturday, another trip to my grandparents’ old house in Staten Island,
bet it was something like “Kiss the Cook”), and have to laugh. What a sweet, silly image
perched regally atop its throne of green grass and dangerously crooked cement steps.
it is. He was like an old, male, slightly balding Martha Stewart.
There were the flowers I could observe but not pick, there the giant forest of trees in
the backyard harboring bugs of frightening proportions, especially those blasted giant
And there the cake was, the fruition of our hard labor, in its warm, golden-brown
ants that my grandmother liked to call “her friends.” Years later, after my grandmother
form, with a sticky-sweet caramelization on top! We moved the dessert to the living room,
was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, they would sell the old house, but the image of it is still
where I contentedly dozed again in the overstuffed armchair (being little sure is tiring!),
painted fresh and bright in my mind, even today.
only to be once again awakened by the hand of my older sister. The serious faces and
lowered, solemn voices of the adults meant it was time we kids moved the party upstairs,
As dogs mirror their owners, I saw my grandmother mirrored in that house. Among
to what I called “The Room of Many Wonders.”
the cracks, treasures were tucked away—pieces of her personality collected across years
of garage sales and antique stores. Cheery pincushions and porcelain figures were scat-
There was no furniture in this special room, just a stair-climber exercise machine
tered on wooden shelves and in glass cabinets. Beautiful pieces of furniture evoked the
I’d taken a liking to. This particular one was more like a giant, expensive metal clothes
olden days of artisans and woodworkers, like the dark wooden table that was too pre-
hanger, strewn as it was with an assortment of Sunday hats, elegant scarves, and the com-
cious, too sublime to function as a table, but rather something to be admired from a safe
fiest little slippers. I took my usual place to one side, enjoying the slow, terrifying descent
distance. She was a collector of beautiful and ancient objects, and beautiful and ancient
of the stair. From that position, I looked all around me, admiring what seemed to be a
words.
warehouse filled with ever more piles of my grandmother’s trinkets. Some would call her
a pack rat, a hoarder, but to me such a label only referred to those who collected packs
Buried in her silk armchair, then too small to rest my feet on the ottoman, I curled
of underwear and other boring items in bulk quantities. No, my grandmother was a fine
my little toes up and drifted off into stories of Guyanese ghosts, called jumbies, and rela-
collector, like Bernard Arnault. Her gallery was this room, and its pieces were stacked
tives I’d never met. I remember her rich, wonderful laugh as she talked about the mischief
atop or hidden behind one another. But that night, there was only one piece I wanted to
of one man named “Bull,” who lived next to this store and that crossway, or “Palso,”
find.
whose sister was this or that woman. I didn’t understand any of it, didn’t recognize any of
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Original Art
Buried somewhere beneath the crowd of round hat boxes and rectangular shoe
containers was my favorite treasure, Titanic—another garage sale jewel, an ancient and
obscure board game based on the historical event. There it was, in its beat-up, torn box,
held together only by an old rubber band. No matter—as long as the board itself was
present, we could play. We moved through the different rooms of the great ship, passing
through the grand hall and the kitchen, relying on the mercy of the few remaining game
cards to guide us to dry, water-free safety. The ship was about to go down, and I didn’t
even know how to doggy paddle! (In adulthood, I tracked down another copy of this
game for the nostalgia and played it once or twice, but it just wasn’t the same.)
___
For the third time that day, I woke in the armchair, too dazed by sleep to wonder
how I got there. My eyes widened at the slippered, wrinkled feet perched on the ottoman, at the grown-up legs next to my own tiny, smooth feet. There she was, my grandmother, filling the space next to me, all warm, soft body and a pleasant, pretty smell.
Nobody realized I had awoken. “Good,” I thought. I had a few more minutes to enjoy a
bit of time with my grandmother, though I stayed still and never said a word. I didn’t have
to.
I simply closed my eyes and drifted away to a beautiful place, filled with cherry
cakes and glass bottles and Stairmaster machines.
Recommends
When we tired of the game, there was always more to explore—no limit to the
ceaseless discovery of mismatched buttons, or spools of thread rolled into dusty corners.
Hussy
And, like this place, full of love.
___
To my grandmother, Annie Barakat, forever in my heart
Crime ! Sex !
Betrayal !
Indie rock !
Hussy'S contributors
sharE theiR favorite
classics anD recent
discoveries.
Athalia Rahim is a designer, artist, and writer currently residing in New York. She loves candy apples,
animals, shameless dancing, and getting into (relatively harmless) shenanigans.
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TELEVISION
Film
Orange Is the New Black (2013)
Bound (1996)
created by Jenji Kohan
reviewed by Julie Neldon
written and directed by The Wachowskis
reviewed by Mara Schmid
Orange Is the New Black is the must-see show of the summer. The show centers on Piper Chapman
(Taylor Schilling), an upperclass woman who is sent to prison for a crime she committed ten years
earlier. She’s forced to live among a cast of colorful inmates and corrupt correctional officers. Piper’s
sentence becomes even more interesting once she realizes she’s doing time with her ex-girlfriend,
the person who turned her in.
The show handles difficult themes flawlessly. Infidelity, violence, abortion, racism, death, and prison
corruption are all touched upon within the first few episodes. The show also realistically depicts the
struggle of maintaining a long distance relationship. The entire first season is available to watch on
Netflix.
Bechdel Test: Passes with flying colors. This show brings a shining ensemble of diverse female characters to television.
What is the Bechdel Test?
The Bechdel Test judges the presence of women in fiction. To pass the test, a work must 1) include at
least two women, 2) show the two women speaking to each other, and 3) include conversation between
the two women about something other than a man.
Before The Matrix or V For Vendetta, the Wachowski siblings
created this bloody and passionate story of crime, love, and betrayal. Bound is the story of two
women: Corky (Gina Gershon), an
ex-con, and Violet (Jennifer Tilly),
the girlfriend of a Mafia money
launderer. The women first meet
when Corky is hired to renovate
the apartment next door to Violet and her boyfriend Caesar (Joe
Pantoliano), and the two women
are immediately drawn to each
other. They begin a risky affair,
and Violet confides that she is
ready to leave Caesar, but not
without the two million dollars
that he will shortly have in his possession. The two women concoct
daring plan to steal the money,
but the plan hinges on trust—
and neither is sure if she can truly
trust the other.
a
Bound is a remarkable film. It’s
compelling, intelligent, and captivating. Rarely are female leads
as strong and complex as Corky
and Violet, and rarely are lesbians or lesbian sex depicted as
realistically and unabashedly. (It’s worth noting that Susie Bright, the feminist writer and sex educator, choreographed the sex scenes and has a small cameo in the film.) The film has some very violent
scenes, which may be difficult for some to watch, but if you’re in the mood for a gritty thriller with strong
female characters, excellent dialogue, and a clever plot, Bound is hard to beat.
Bechdel Test: Passes with flying colors. Though the film features several interesting and important
male characters as well, Corky and Violet are the heart and soul of this film.
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Books
music
The Lake of Dead Languages (2002)
written by Carol Goodman
reviewed by Jane Schmid
This novel is like an old friend to me. I’ve
read it many times, and each time I read
it, it’s as good as I remembered. The story
takes place in upstate New York, at Heart
Lake, a private school for girls. The main
character, Jane, was once a student at the
school and is now returning as the Latin teacher. During her senior year at the
school, two of her classmates died in the
lake on the school property. Now that
Jane is back as a teacher, ominous things
begin to happen that bring back memories of the year her friends died. The narrative switches back and forth between
past and present as the secrets surrounding the deaths of her friends are unveiled.
Kit t en
reviewed by Ciara Holness
Los Angeles-based Kitten brings new power to dance
rock with the help of their teenage frontwoman, Chloe
Chaidez, who is anything but a pop princess. Their 2010
EP Sunday School delivers the catchy sing-along power of
“Kill The Light”, the kind of song that fits perfectly with a
night time drive and city lights, while “Chinatown” serves
up a dance-friendly rhythm and showcases Chaidez’s alternately sweet and sassy vocals. “Kitten With a Whip” is
a girl-power anthem with an eighties edge that is sure to
provide plenty of hair-tossing ferocious female inspiration.
Combining classic rock ’n’ roll glamour with a modern
twist, Kitten is vampy, fun, and a delightfully gritty alternative to bubblegum pop.
Though the story is full of darkness and
horror, most of the characters are warm
and relatable, and that is what really draws
you in. As you get deeper into the mystery, it becomes very hard to put the book
down, and the book rewards you with a
number of surprising twists. This is also a
story of romance, friendships, and coming-of-age. There is really nothing more I
could ask from this book; it has all the elements that make a great story. The Lake of
Dead Languages will leave you with a lasting impression and you will want to pick it
up again in a year or two. And that’s the
best kind of book in my opinion—one you
can read over and over again.
Bechdel Test: Passes with flying colors.
The novel is set in an all-female boarding
school, so almost all the characters are
women.
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THE CREDO
Intelligence is sexy. Life is an adventure.
You are beautiful today. Women are diverse,
capable, and kickass—and we deserve
a magazine to reflect that!
WWW.HUSSYMAG.COM
HUSSY MAGAZINE is committed to diversity,
inclusivity, positive body image, and transparency.
We do not retouch our models or airbrush photos
of anyone appearing in our magazine. We may
color correct or adjust the brightness of a photo,
but we do not alter photos beyond that type of
basic adjustment.
Contact us: [email protected]
Write the editor: [email protected]
Get sex advice: [email protected]
Get relationship advice: [email protected]
Submissions: [email protected]
© Hussy Magazine, 2013

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